Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
