Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
