Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I wish I only lived at night.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
COCAINE IS GR8
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
