so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Sorry about my life...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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