WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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