Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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