my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Welp...herpes.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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