Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
