This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
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I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
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I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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