chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize