we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
