i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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