Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
