Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
