the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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