Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
