hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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