He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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