God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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