I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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