I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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