Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
