I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
