remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
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That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
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He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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