And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
