OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize