i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
