I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Verdict: uncircumcised.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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