Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
