This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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