Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
