We got so high we made milksteak
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
