why didn't you poke me back
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize