dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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