I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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