She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Randomize
