He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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