you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize