the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Randomize
