look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
