i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
