My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
