I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
