So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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