there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
