I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
