That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
