I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
