I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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