Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
