Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
