Whoa Z and x make the same sound
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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