SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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