im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
