Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I love having hate sex.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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