dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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