Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
