Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
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