Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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