Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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