I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
did i walk over a car last night?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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