sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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