I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
