I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
